Seriously, I just don't know what has gotten into the kids in my class, but to go around spreading these awful rumors that Santa doesn't exist? Really? Do you have any idea how hard this poor man works? I mean, they say he takes Christmas off and all, but other than that, this guy doesn't get a break! He's got to keep his eye on just about every kid in the whole entire world. I'm no population expert, but isn't that like a couple billion people? Maybe even more! Then he's got to open all that mail, make tons of lists, take care of the reindeer, not to mention making sure the elves are all happy. He's got to get all the gifts together, maintain the sled, and deliver everything on time. I'd like to see you get all that done in just one year.
So please - give the guy a break already - or you might just find yourself on his naughty list, and trust me - my little brother Doogle has been on that list before and it is not pretty!